Posted August 06, 2015

Posted August 6, 2015

This comes from Jack Firestone who just left Bayreuth for Salzburg:

WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE HAD TOO MUCH WAGNER

You have had too much Wagner when:

1. You have replaced your doorbell with one that rings the four-tone Monsalvat motiv.

2. You reside in a high rise apartment building and you stow assorted brass instruments on your balcony.

3. Your ten year old son has brought home a toad from a nearby riverbed. You now find yourself frantically searching every pet store in town for the largest cage available… just in case.

4. Bored out of your wits when it is your turn to pull neighborhood watch after midnight, you secretly yearn for a riot to ensue which you will have the ability to quell. When said domestic discordance does not occur, you mysteriously get a sudden urge to consult psychiatric guidance…at a shoestore.

5. Sitting on a park bench observing the aviary species lazily paddling along on the pond, you entertain yourself by wondering which of the birds may perhaps be of sufficient robust fortitude to be fitted with harness and towing gear.

6. You spot an old bearded homeless geezer walking with a cane and invite him home to play a game of charades.

7. At the shopping mall… You observe three elderly ladies emerging from an arts and crafts outlet toting bags of yarn and sundry other knitting articles. You approach, beg and plead with them to tell your fortune.

8. Anytime a flock of birds takes off en masse behind your back, you are suddenly overcome with sheer terror and paranoia.

9. Whilst attempting to light your backyard barbeque, your guests are thoroughly bewildered when you become frustrated and commence to bellowing, “Loge! Loge! Hieher!” at the top of your lungs.

10. Stepping out of the shower, you are suddenly startled by your wife. She thrusts a towel into your hands and says, “Dry your own feet this time. The hair salon cost me a fortune today.”

References in case you find this a bit convoluted:

1) Parsifal 2) Bayreuth Intermission endings are announced with a horn call from the balcony of the Festspielhaus 3) Alberich in Das Rheingold 4) Act II & Act III Meistersinger 5) Lohengrin 6) Siegfried – Wotan Mime  head betting 7) Götterdämmerung – Norn Scene 8) Wotan’s Ravens Hugin and Munin – Thought and Memory Brunnhilde tells them to fly to Valhalla in Gotterdammerung 9) Die Walkure 10) Parsifal